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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 8, 2007 11:10:54 GMT -5
On a trans-Pacific flight from Los Angeles to Russia Barry Knight, "Filthy" Rich Burton, Kaelan Anderson and Rob Wallace are sitting in the middle aisle and none are too happy about the experience except for Burton who doesn't let anything get him down. "What's the matter boys? You scared of a little close contact with other men?""Shut your face fat-man or I'm liable to put you out of commission before our title match!""Leuk ower yer ill naitur an answer his quaisten Caitlin! Burton maks ae verra habile brod!""Also, right, could yer put the mockers on pressin' yor elbow dahn on me groin Anderson, eh, mate? I might need it later...""Listen! It wasn't my idea to get tickets at the last minute like this you good for nothing punters! Being the tallest among us, I should be on the aisle instead of old man Wallace here!""Ye shoud be committed is whit ye shoud be ye great big oaf! Wha in thair lousome mynd lat's thair bairns growe up tae sic girsts???""Leave my mother out of this Wallace!"Burton leans in to console Kaelan by tapping on the shoulder, spilling the entirety of his drink in Barry's lap as he does so. "Wotch yor damn drink Rich! Blimey! Now I've gotta go out hammer and tack to change me kegs! Oi!""Hey, when your back there, could you grab me another drink?""Cop yor own damn drink yer great bloody Orangutan!"Knight stomps off towards the restroom, grabbing his carry on before he does so. Kaelan immediately stretches out as much as he can, taking advantage of the now vacated spot beside him. "Finally! My knees feel like they were going to pop!""A'm gaun pap ye in the mooth if ye doan git yer bluidy fit aff o mines!"Before Kaelan can reply, a commotion can be heard coming from the first class section... {OOC: To be continued by anyone else who is on the trans Pacific flight to Russia  }{OOC #2: Fixed Wallace's Scottish dialect } |
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Post by ryanrev on Mar 8, 2007 17:56:54 GMT -5
Scott Starnes is sitting in his seat and realises that its time for his daily doughnut fix. He sees the flight attendant pushing around a cart with food on it.]
Ummm excuse me are there any doughnuts on this plane to eat?
The flight attendant says the typical answer you'd expect
No sir.
Damnit I want my doughnut woman! Go get me one at any costs!
I told you before sir we don't have...
Grrr
I'll see what I can do sir.
The flight attendant comes back.
Heres your doughnut sir.
About time...hey wait a minute this isn't a doughnut its a...BAGEL my worst enemy in the entire world even greater than Carl.
Its the best I could do sir!
No problem I know just exactly what I want to do with it.
Scott spreads cream cheese on the bagel with a butterknife and winds his arm back to throw the bagel straight at Carl Svensson's head.
BULLSEYE!
Big Bertha sees the bagel and proceeds to eat it off of Carl's head.
tbc by EELON
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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 8, 2007 19:51:37 GMT -5
Barry Knight is walking towards the bathroom in the back of the plane when a stray bagel flies past him.
"Wot the bloody hell?"
Knight turns around when he sees Big Bertha pounce onto the bagle that has landed on Carl Svensson's head.
"Poor lad, Berffa 'ave a looks like she could eat an 'orse..."
"Sir! Get back to your seat, the seat belt sign is ON! Gah!"
Knight turns to the agitated stewardess and pats her on the head.
"There, right, there lass. Don't cop yorself bent out of shape."
The stewardess grabs Knight by the wrist and hip-tosses him directly into Dan Francisco's lap.
"Let go of my hair you overgrown brute! GAH!"
Knight regains his senses and looks up at where he's landed.
"Helllllo, I didn't see DELICIOUS hunk of man MEAT on the menu tonight, did you Lyptus?"
Eucalyptus moves Knight's head away from her boob.
"Like, this is like TOTALLY inappropriate Knight. Totally."
"Well, right, if Dan will let go of me ass, I'll be on me way then ladies."
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Post by RyanBow412 on Mar 8, 2007 20:16:36 GMT -5
Water is sitting in his seat with his arms folded as his seat is rocking back and forth. Behind him a young child is kicking his seat over and over and over. Finally, his mother gets up and goes to the rest room. Water, ever the opportunistic genius, looks over his seat and stares at the kid with a death glare before making a strangling motion with his hands. He turns back around to the sound to a sobbing child and resumes his dinner. Ryan leans to Water shaking his head.
"Water, you're a jackass."
"I know."
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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 8, 2007 21:38:43 GMT -5
Bored out of his mind and tired of hearing Kaelan complain, Rob Wallace gets up out of his seat and pinches the nearest air stewardess on the bottom.
"Hey thare bonnie thing, care for ae gae wi ae jonick leegend o the squared circle?"
The stewardess turns around and slaps Wallace hard in the face.
"Get BACK to your seat you dirty old man! GAH! If that didn't feel good, you would be in so much trouble!"
"Eith thare lass. Mebbe ye an A can hiv ae gae at it whan ye arna sae dang spankie!"
"I'd like that. NOW GET BACK TO YOUR SEAT!"
Wallace sighs and heads back to his seat. His eyes narrow in fury when he sees that Kaelan has moved seats and taken his aisle seat.
"An juist whit dae ye think ye're daein in ma seat Caitlin?!?"
"Finders keepers old man. You want an aisle seat? Go find one somewhere less hostile to you and your poor attitude."
"Is that sae Caitlin? Weel wis gaun tae hae tae see aboot that nou winna we?"
Wallace walks over to Water's seat and grabs the glass of tomato juice he was about to drink.
"Hey! I was about to drink that!"
"Ye can hae it back in ah seicont Puddles, juist hae tae teach ah muckle noddle ah lesson he winna suin forgit."
Ignoring any further protests from Water, Wallace strides over to where Kaelan is sitting and dumps the entire contents of the glass of tomato juice on his head.
"Hou's that for puir attitude Caitlin?"
"You are in for a world of hurt Wallace!"
Kaelan gets up and grabs Wallace by the collar. After a brief struggle, Wallace is sent crashing through the curtain and into the first class section!
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Post by RyanBow412 on Mar 8, 2007 23:02:09 GMT -5
Water is left shaking his head in deep thought.
"Why did I have tomato juice? I hate tomato juice!"
Meanwhile in the First Class Section...
Ryan is playing his Nintendo DS while Shaunna is sleeping when Wallace flies though into the aisle, knocking the DS out of Ryan's hand.
"Hey! I was playing that!"
Wallace gets up and brushes himself off.
"Ya think I give a rat's ass?"
Ryan stands up and throws Wallace back into coach.
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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 9, 2007 8:45:51 GMT -5
Barry Knight returns to his seat just as Wallace gets thrown back through the curtain.
"Wotcher, woss this then?"
Knight shoves past Kaelan and helps Wallace up.
"Thanks pal, ye want tae ding some bawheid noddle in?"
"It would be an 'onor sir."
"That's ae guid lad."
Knight follows Wallace as he pushes through the curtain to first class. Without skipping a beat, Wallace grabs Bowdridge by the collar and pulls him out of his seat.
"Hey! What's the big idea?!?"
While Bowdridge is distracted, Knight moves in and gives the VCW Heavyweight champion the mightiest wedgie EVER.
"This'll teach yer ter respect yor bloody elders yer unkempt divvy! Struth!"
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Post by ryanrev on Mar 9, 2007 8:55:04 GMT -5
Scott sees the bitchy flight attendant again.
GET ME SOME DAMN BEER WOMAN!
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? GAH!
I SAID GET ME SOME DAMN BEER WOMAN ARE YOU DEAF?
WE DON'T HAVE ANY ALCHOHOL ON THIS PLANE GAH!
Do I have to wrestle you to get some damn beer?
I do judo you know GAH!
Oh really? Well I'm an mma fighter, pro wrestler, and catch wrestler beat that you bitch!
Thats it sir now your making me angry!
Scott Starnes and the flight attendant get into a full out wrestling match on the floor.
tbc by whoever surprise me.
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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 9, 2007 9:13:56 GMT -5
"Filthy" Rich Burton, hearing the commotion behind him, gets up and sees Scott Starnes and the crazed flight attendant wrestling on the floor. He walks over and nudges Starnes with his cowboy boot.
"What's this about Starnes? And more importantly, can I join in?"
Starnes pins down the squirming flight attendant and looks up at Burton.
"This flight sucks! First I get a bagel instead of a donut, and now I get told there's no beer?"
The flight attendant frees a hand and slaps Starnes hard across the face.
"That's right you dumb Canuck, there are NO donuts, NO beer and you are now officially in deep, deep trouble!"
Burton pulls a flask out of his pants, unscrews the cap and takes a big swig.
"Why's he in trouble? I'm the one who snuck booze on the plane..."
The flight attendant shoves Starnes off of her and knocks the flask out of Burton's hands.
"You've sown the wind, prepare to reap the whirlwind bastards! Bertha, come here, I need you!"
Starnes and Burton turn around, their faces showing identical looks of pure horror as Big Bertha squeezes out of her seat and rumbles towards them.
"What seems to be the problem here Suzie?"
The flight attendant smiles sadistically and points to Starnes and Burton.
"Take these two to the back and do what you will with them."
"With IMMENSE pleasure."
Burton shoves Starnes aside as he tries to scramble to the safety of the bathroom, but is instead tripped by the Canadian MMA star turned hardcore warrior.
"I don't think so Burton, see you in the next life eh?"
As Bertha squeezes her hands around Burton's neck, Starnes reaches the bathroom door. When he tries to open it, he finds it to be locked.
"Noooo! Let me in, I gotta go real bad!"
No answer from the bathroom. More insistent knocking from Starnes as Bertha starts walking menacingly towards him while dragging Burton by the foot.
"Come on man! I REALLY gotta go!"
Suddenly, the door bursts open and Fromunda charges out! He shoves Starnes against the far wall and when the MMA star attempts to retaliate, Fromunda counters with a devastating MUNDA LARIAHTOH!!!
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Roy
Moderator 
The Roy
Posts: 448
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Post by Roy on Mar 9, 2007 9:15:52 GMT -5
Bowdridge is in a state of anger as his underwear is almost touching his nipples due to the wedgie.
OHHH MY! aren't they some sexy panties Mr. Bowdridge I never knew you were soooo into lingerie. I have those very same panties in my luggage.
As "Fabulous" Dan Francisco enters The champ is trying his best to fix his underwear by un - zipping his pants but in all the commotion they fall down. Ryan stands in the middle of the aisle with no pants on and a wedgie which reveals most of his ass.
Knight and Wallace can't move for laughing and Ryans face becomes bright red.
OHHHH MY!
Dan tries to wave of his blushes as he becomes overexcited by the situation and faints into the seat of another VCW wrestler
(OOC )who does Dan fall on? anybody that wants to continue go ahead(OOC)
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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 9, 2007 9:20:13 GMT -5
War Machine looks down in horror at Dan Francisco who is lying unconscious in his lap. "WAR MACHINE DISAPPROVES OF THIS COSMIC INTERRUPTION!"
"HE WHO TRESPASSES MUST FACE THE WAR MACHINE'S AWESOME WRATH!"
"TAKE HEED FOR THE WAR MACHINE IS ABOUT TO UNLEASH ARMAGGEDON ON THEE!!!" The crazed flight attendant walks over to War Machine and slugs him hard in the face, knocking the heavyweight unconscious. "Shut UP sir! GAH!"
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Post by ryanrev on Mar 9, 2007 9:28:12 GMT -5
Scott tries to regain consciousness but realises Bertha is standing right in front of him.
Oh no this has got to be some kind of sick nightmare!
Bertha gets Scott in a bear hug and drags him around.Scott tries to get out kicking and screaming but to no avail. Bertha simply smiles and laughes maniacally.
TBC by whoever.
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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 9, 2007 9:56:46 GMT -5
Kaelan Anderson's head whips back and forth as he sees Wallace and Knight dealing with Bowdridge in the first class section and Burton and Starnes getting dragged to their imminent doom by Big Bertha towards the back of the plane.
"Ah hell, Wallace doesn't need my help. Hang on Burton! The cavalry is coming!"
Kaelan runs towards the back, knocking aside the crazed flight attendant.
"Sorry lass, I'll buy you a drink when we land in Moscow!"
Bertha hears the commotion and turns her head. When she sees Kaelan running towards her, she drops Starnes and Burton.
"You don't want ANY of this Anderson! Go back to your seat and live to fight another day!"
"Bertha, be reasonable. My PPV pay day depends on Burton being in the match. You can keep Starnes but let me at least take Burton back to his seat."
"Hmm, that depends on one thing Anderson."
"And what's that?"
"YOU take ME out to dinner when we get back to Vegas on Monday."
Kaelan's face goes white as he imagines the nightmare scenario.
"Never mind, you can have 'em both. I don't need the pay day that bad."
"Fine! Have it your way!"
Bertha grabs the feet of both Starnes and Burton and resumes her walk towards the back of the plane. Kaelan does a mock salute as he watches the trio go.
"May you rest in peace lads, God love ya."
Fromunda pops up besides Anderson.
"GAAAAH NO LI'V"
"Damn straight 'Munda. Damn straight."
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Post by ryanrev on Mar 9, 2007 10:13:36 GMT -5
Bertha throws Scott & Burton into the backroom and locks the door. There they see a buddist temple made of suitcases and NINJA stealing people's stuff.Then a loud voice booms.
WHO GOES THERE!
Wow what is this place.
This looks scary hold me Scotty!
The loud voice is Li Kung Pao.
No Burton its just me Scott Starnes and Rich Burton we've been thrown into this room by Bertha thanks to the bitchy flight attendant can you get us out of here? Who are you anyway?
My name is Li Kung Pao oh and no one escapes the backroom and I mean no one while your here you can enter the temple and pray to reach enlightenment...And not feel the wrath of Bertha. You'll either be eaten or worse...Be forced to do "special favours" for her.
Please don't tell me what those special favours are.
Be quiet Scott come into the temple and pray Mini Frias and Charon are doing so right now then my master NINJA will come in and join us soon enough.
tbc by whoever.
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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 9, 2007 13:09:43 GMT -5
Before Ninja can join though, the door bursts open and in walks Big Bertha, looking meaner and angrier than ever. She points a meaty finger at Li Kung Pao and starts advancing towards the Kung Fu master.
"You! Come with me. NOW."
Li Kung Pao attempts a weak kick in Bertha's direction, but it is easily swatted aside. With terrifying strength, Bertha grabs Li Kung Pao in a canadian back breaker and carries him towards a remote area of the cargo area.
"What the hell is she going to do with him Rich?"
"Shut UP Starnes, this is our chance to escape, let's get the hell out of here! If only I had Betsy with me!"
"Did you pack her up for the trip?"
Burton's eyes light up in delight.
"You're a genius Starnes! Quick, help me find my luggage!"
While the two abductees frantically search through the luggage cries of lust mingled with horror can be heard from the corner where Bertha carried off Li Kung Pao.
"What in the Holy Hell was that?"
"Shut up and keep searching, Kung Pao was merely an appetizer and we are the main course!"
"Goddamnit!"
Suddenly, NINJA pops out of a suitcase that Burton had opened earlier.
"Jeebus! Where the heck did you come from?"
NINJA backflips out of the suitcase and lands behind a nearby stack of suitcases.
"This information is of no importance to you. Quickly, where is Li Kung Pao?"
Another cry of pure horror shatters the relative silence of the cargo bay.
"He's back there somewhere. Bertha's got him."
NINJA throws something to the ground and disappears in a cloud of smoke.
Where'd he go?"
"Never mind, keep looking."
Five frantic minutes of searching later...
"Got it!"
"GOT WHAT?!?"
Starnes turns in horror towards Bertha who's hair is disheveled and clothes even more so.
"Starnes! Toss me Betsy damn it! NOW!"
Starnes doesn't waste a second, throwing Betsy towards Burton who leaps majestically in the air to grab it before it falls to the ground. Seeing her night of pleasure crumble before her eyes, Bertha rushes forward but doesn't see the trip wire that NINJA has set up and is now pulling towards him. She falls forward just as Burton steps in with a mighty swing of his sledgehammer and clobbers her in the head.
"Rich! You saved us all!"
Burton affectionately kisses Betsy on the head.
"I didn't do anything Starnes. Betsy did it all. Now, let's get the hell out of here before that monster comes to."
"I'm with you. What a crazy flight this has been eh?"
"Yeah, now how about we get even with that good for nothing Anderson?"
"Best idea I've heard all day."
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