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Post by Juan Hefe on Apr 3, 2009 18:41:14 GMT -5
Hefe is about to respond when the bus stops abruptly and the harried bus driver gets up off her seat.
"PT'S PLACE! EVERYBODY GET THE HELL OFF MY BUS! GAH!"
"Let's talk inside Ryan, this short but eventful ride has definitely activated my thirst!"
"Sounds good."
Bowdridge turns to Burton as he exits the bus.
"Who's paying for all this Rich?"
Burton smiles as he steps off the bus.
"Just put it all on VCW's tab and we'll figure it out later."
Water and Tyler Marx step off the bus immediately after, both still cackling madly.
"MY EYEBALLS FEEL LIKE THEY WANT TO SCOUT THIS PLACE OUT AHEAD OF MY HEAD!"
Marx nods wisely at this pronouncement and mumbles to himself before stopping himself (and everyone who'd been following the pair out of the bus).
"Ahead of my head I'd be dead and you'd be red."
Water makes the Vulcan hand sign.
"BUSINESS. REPLY. MAIL."
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Post by Juan Hefe on Apr 3, 2009 19:01:51 GMT -5
Inside PT's Pub...
"Filthy" Rich Burton walks up to the bartender and shakes the man's hand.
"Hello there! I'm Rich Burton representing VCW and we're doing a pub crawl tonight. Something to get Vegas excited about their very own wrestling promotion."
The bartender smiles enthusiastically and returns Burton's handshake.
"Of course I know who you guys are! I watch Longshot every week on local station 23!"
Barry Knight sidles up to the bar and slaps down a fiver.
"A pint me good man! Blimey! I'm parched and 'aven't drunk anyfink from the bloomin' tap in too long!"
The bartender pushes back Knight's money across the bar.
"You're money's no good here Barry Knight! I'm a huge fan! I have all of your Japan tapes!"
Barry smiles enthusiastically and pockets his money.
"For yor act of generosity, right, I shall dedicate me next motch ter yer! S'truth!"
"Alright! This is my kind of place, could I get a bottle of your finest whiskey?"
"Sure. How you gonna pay for it?"
Burton grumbles and takes out a credit card, handing it over to the barkeep.
"All the drinks from the VCW fellas go on this card."
The bartender takes the card and looks at it.
"Sure thing mr Hefe."
Burton turns and smiles as he sees the tour bus group enter the pub, for good or ill.
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Post by RyanBow412 on Apr 3, 2009 19:31:22 GMT -5
Ryan[/color] walks in, talking to Hefe[/color] and sits at the bar.
"Can you make a Dew-Driver #2?"
The bartender laughs.
"Can you make an autograph to my son Lance?"
"Absolutely!" Ryan[/color] grabs a pen and signs a cocktail napkin.
"Great! He's gonna love this!" The bartender mixes the drink and hands it off to the champ.
"Thanks." He takes a sip and lets it sit in his mouth, savoring the taste.
Meanwhile, Water[/color] stumbles to the bar and slams his hand down.
"Get me a Woly Hater!"
The bartender stares at him for a second.
"A what?!"
Water[/color] stares at him for a second through his glasses, before slamming his hand down again and points at the bartender.
"Holy Water."
"I think-"
He gets cut off by Water[/color] slamming his hand down while staring at the bartender.
"Business reply mail."
Ryan[/color] walks over and taps the bartender on the shoulder.
"You'll have to excuse my gargantuan friend, he's had a little alligator melatonin. Just give him something that'll slow him down a bit."
"Fine. Holy Water it is."
Water pats Ryan on the back and puts his arm around him.
"You're my wingman. I wouldn't have any other."
Ryan chuckles a bit before picks the tattooed arm off of his shoulder.
"Yeah. Right. Excuse me."
Ryan walks back to Hefe, who has begun to order his drink.
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Post by Juan Hefe on Apr 3, 2009 20:17:01 GMT -5
Hefe takes a sip of his Grand Marnier on the rocks and savours it before a bit for gulping it down.
"So Ryan, you were asking about what I've been up to since leaving CPW?"
"Yeah, I mean, you fell off the map there after your big power play. Just what the hell have you been up to?"
Bowdridge takes a another healthy quaff of his Dew-Driver.
"A little bit of this, a little bit of that."
"Ah come on Hefe, it isn't a state secret is it?"
Hefe is about to respond when Tyler Marx slithers on the bar in front of him.
"Hello Mister Hefe Sir. I require a goodly dose of that excellent elixir you provided to Water earlier in the evening. Might I have some? Right now?"
Hefe shrugs and looks into his coat pocket but comes up empty.
"Sorry man, I'm all out. Water tapped me dry."
Ted Tsavales wanders in and sits beside his boss.
"Hey boss, if I run out of candy, can I go buy some more?"
"Hey Ted?"
"Yeah boss?"
"You still got some of those marmite Jelly BelliesTM?"
"Do I? I got a whole handful of those! Even though I specifically asked Rich for no licorice, no peanut butter and no marmite!"
"Good, good. Could you give those fine candies to our friend Tyler here?"
"Yeah, no problem boss!"
Ted dumps the contents of a plastic bag onto the bar, directly in front of Tyler Marx's face.
"There you go little buddy, have at it!"
Tyler Marx wastes no time devouring the hundreds of Jelly BelliesTM laid out in front of him. His mouth dripping with sticky Jelly BellyTM guts, he gets up on the bar and rips off his shirt.
"I have come.... TO EAT!"
At that moment, "Fabulous" Dan Francisco comes and sits between Hefe and Bowdridge, pointing at Marx, who is now lying on his back and pouring beer from a beer tap directly into his mouth.
"I never knew that Tyler Marx fellow to be such a complete animal! My blood is up and when my blood is up, you know what else is up!"
Francisco grabs Hefe by the head and is about to kiss him passionately when a bar stool crashes into his back! Water admires his handy-work and throws up his hand for a high five. Before Hefe can return the fiver however, Water runs off and clotheslines both members of Mass Destruction!
"FOR GOD AND COUNTRY I DO MY DUTY! BUSINESS REPLY MAIL!"
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Roy
Moderator 
The Roy
Posts: 448
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Post by Roy on Apr 4, 2009 6:57:40 GMT -5
"FOR GOD AND COUNTRY I DO MY DUTY! BUSINESS REPLY MAIL!"
Water cheers at the top of his lungs but fails to realize that Mass Destruction are still standing
Chaos and Napalm look at each other then grab Water from behind and launch him across a few tables spilling everybody's drinks.
Mass Destruction grab 2 shots from a random table and down them at once.
Napalm's face folds as he swallows the bitter drink but Chaos stands, almost sad, as he forgets he has a mask on so it just spills down his chest.
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Post by RyanBow412 on Apr 4, 2009 15:21:59 GMT -5
Water springs up like Shawn Michaels, apparently not even fazed by falling throw some tables, grabs a straw, and hands it to Chaos.
"Maybe this'll help!"
He happily walks away, leaving Chaos stunned, somewhat cnfused.
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Post by Devlin on Apr 4, 2009 17:25:01 GMT -5
(OOC}: This is hilarious. I am actually laughing aloud while reading this.
While Tyler Marx is pausing for air, sprawled across the bar with the beer tap in his hand, Sad Boy is leaning on the bar, one hand propping up his head, looking morose as per usual.
"Y'know, you're gonna be drunk before you even make it to the next bar."
"What are you, my mother?" Tyler Marx retorts. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA". Marx then nearly asphyxiates himself as he fires more beer into his open mouth before he has even finished laughing. By this time, Marx is doused in beer and completely shirtless, enough to arouse the attention of Dan Francisco, who sidles up along the bar and begins massaging Marx's chest.
"Sad Boy if that's you I swear I'm gonna WWWWOOOAHH WHAT THE FRONT DOOR!" Marx screams, releasing the tap in horror and blasting it everywhere upon the dawning realization that he is being molested by Fab Dan. Marx scrabbles about in a panic until he falls off the bar with a thunk and disappears out of sight.
"Oh I love it when they play hard to get!" Fab Dan cooes, clapping his hands excitedly. "I- oh hellooooo there..." He is seemingly distracted, as sitting opposite to him is Sad Boy, soaked in beer to the point where his hair is plastered to his face and his shirt is clinging slightly to his skinny form. Fab Dan's eyes light up. "Ohh this is like a fantasy fulfilled! A wet emo... ooohh baby! C'mere!" With that, he grabs hold of Sad Boy, who by this point is screaming as Fab Dan drags him away off camera. Tyler Marx pops up above the bar, pulling himself up off the floor.
"Phew, that was lucky. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA!!!" He proclaims, before helping himself to the beer tap once more.
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Post by RyanBow412 on Apr 4, 2009 17:39:33 GMT -5
Water is about to go to the bar and get another Holy Water when he is stopped by a 6'5" man, sporting a sailor's uniform, none other than former VCW Superstar Murphey O'Davis.
" 'Ey! Yer tink yer can go raun spillin' people's Guiness? Yer got another tin' comin'!"
He gives Water a fierce elbow in the head, but the 7 feet 290 pounder isn't even affected. He picks up the sailor by his shirt and kicks open the door.
"GO BACK TO THE BRIER PATCH LUCKY!"
He throws Murphey out, into the cold Las Vegas night.
"AND DON'T COME BACK WITHOUT YOUR HEARTS, STARS, HORSESHOES, CLOVERS AND BLUE MOONS!"
He slams the door shut. A second later, he opens it again.
"AND DON'T FORGET THE POTS OF GOLD, RAINBOWS, AND THE RED BALLOON!"
Murphey sits in the parking lot for a second before saying,
"Waaat de 'ell jist 'appened?"
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Post by Juan Hefe on Apr 4, 2009 20:18:39 GMT -5
Burton watches in amusement as former VCW Superstar Murphey O'Davis is thrown out the door. He then looks at his watch and claps Barry Knight on the shoulder.
"Alrighty Barry, it's time to head to the next stop."
"Kerry's Sports Rub-a-dub is it?"
"That's the place. Hey Teddy Bear!"
Ted Tsavales gets out of Big Bertha's lap and comes running.
"What's up Rich?"
"Can I borrow your airhorn? We gotta clear out of this place if we want to keep to our schedule."
Tsavales reaches into his fanny pack and pulls out his trusty airhorn, handing it to Burton who then climbs onto the bar (straddling Tyler Marx who is still blasting his face with the beer nozzle). A quick blast of the airhorn gets everyone's attention.
"Alright VCW personel, we are outta here and onto the next stop, Kerry's Sports Pub!"
Water jumps up, clicks his heels and dives through the plate glass window at the front of PT's Pub. The sound of crashing glass brings all conversation to a halt. It even gets Tyler Marx to stop drinking beer.
"AHAHAHA... Ahuh... Huh... Is that how we're supposed to leave this place?"
Ryan Bowdridge nods wisely and points to the other window fronting the pub.
"Five points if you can crash that thing without cutting yourself up like Water did."
Marx wastes no time jumping down from the bar and sprinting at full speed directly into the window... which doesn't break.
"Ow! That hurt!"
Water comes back through the door and helps Marx back up.
"FAIL."
The big blue man backs up until he reaches the bar and rushes forward again, diving through the other plate glass window!
Burton glances back at the bartender who is busy calling the cops.
"Thanks for the fun and beer barkeep, be seein' ya!"
The whole VCW troop files out of the bar as the bartender shakes his fist at them.
"You guys are going to pay for this damage! You're going to pay you hear!"
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Post by RyanBow412 on Apr 4, 2009 20:37:08 GMT -5
Everyone packs back onto the bus and Rich taps the driver on the shoulder.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?! GAH!"
"Next stop: Kerry's Sports Pub."
"FINE!"
She slams on the gas, making everyone lean back, and causing Rich to fall over.
After a few minutes of driving, Ted looks out the window and his eyes get to be the side of dinner plates. Water hops over some seats and sits behind him and looks at what Ted's looking at. He takes off his sunglasses (!) and his eyes are just as big. They are passing a 2-floor, 24-hour candy shop. Instinctively, Ted jumps forward, knocks the driver over, and grabs the wheel and steers as hard as he can into the parking lot, sending everyone flying. After stopping the bus, he opens the door and runs toward the shop. Water jumps to the front and yells,
"PIT STOP!"
before running in as well.
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Post by Juan Hefe on Apr 5, 2009 5:57:25 GMT -5
Rich is helped up from his tumble down the aisle by Barry Knight.
"What the hell just happened? Why did we stop?"
Knight points to the Fuzziwig's Candy Factory & Sweets store just outside the bus. Water and Ted are at the door, pounding the glass to be let in.
"Seconds after yer got sent tumblin' dahn by us maniac bus driver, Ted grabbed the chuffin' weel and turned into this parkin' lot, init? Now I fink 'im and Puddles are about ter break and enter in order ter get some candy."
Burton slaps his forehead with his palm.
"Those idiots! They're ruining my timeline! Hey! Watch it!"
Tyler Marx knocks Burton to the floor again in his eagerness to gorge himself on more Marmite flavoured candies.
"One side chief!"
Rich picks himself up off the floor again and reaches under his seat for his trusty sledgehammer, Betsy.
"It's high time I bring law and order back to this pub crawl! Outta the way Bar', the sheriff is coming to town!"
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Roy
Moderator
The Roy
Posts: 448
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Post by Roy on Apr 5, 2009 6:03:01 GMT -5
Meanwhile back at Inside PT's Pub noises are heard from behind the bar.
A head pops up, his hair a mess, his lipstick smudged and his mascara running. It can only be Fab Dan.
He has a smile on his face but it quickly fades away as he looks around the quiet bar
Hey! where the Hell is everybody!?
Crap! I gotta find ma babies.
Dan quickly puts his T-shirt back on, finishes his cocktail and hurdles the bar out the door
meanwhile behind the bar rolled up on the floor is Sad Boy, who is now half naked and whimpering
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Post by Juan Hefe on Apr 5, 2009 8:09:51 GMT -5
Tyler Marx reaches Water and Ted, who are still pounding furiously on the front door and windows of Fuzziwig's Candy Factory & Sweets.
"Quit your hammering fellows, it is high time I show you both what I have learned in the last 15 minutes."
Marx backs up to the bus and takes a running leap headfirst into the window, crashing through it and into the store. Alarms begin blaring as Marx kips up and walks over to the front door.Ted quickly walks in and disables the alarm. At that point, Burton has reached the group.
"How in the hell did you do that Teddy Bear? We were about to have half the LVPD down our throats!"
Ted shrugs and pulls out his Fuzziwig's Candy Factory & Sweets membership card.
"I'm a proud card carrying member of the Fuzziwigniacs. I know each and everyone of these stores like the back of my hand. Layout, schematics, security codes, financial statements, you name it."
A loud scream from the back of the store stops Ted from going any further. Spooked, Burton drops into a battle stance, Betsy at the ready.
"What the hell was that?"
Ted shrugs. "I dunno."
"You stay here, I'm gonna go check it out."
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Roy
Moderator
The Roy
Posts: 448
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Post by Roy on Apr 5, 2009 9:53:23 GMT -5
Marx, water, Ted and Burton are about to run for it as a car comes flying round the corner, they think it's the Police but as the car gets closer they realize that it can't be the cops as it's pink Cadillac Eldorado.
The Cadillac doesn't slow down which means all the guys have to jump out the way of the speeding vehicle.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
*BOOM*
The car smashes straight through the rest of the broken window causing the wall to also collapse in.
The guys look on in shock as the driver door swings open and through the smoke, wrecked vehicle, smashed window and broken bricks stumbles "Fabulous" Dan Francisco.
Hii Blossoms, you can't get rid of Big Dan that easily hehe!
...OOOOHHH! Candy!
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Post by RyanBow412 on Apr 5, 2009 10:28:38 GMT -5
Water gets up and shakes Dan's hand.
"Glad you decided to join us! Now if you will excuse me please?"
Water walks down towards the source of the scream. He walks down the aisles before he bumps into a man [/b]in his late 30's, wearing a green apron and sporting a bald spot.
"Sorry, I'm looking-"
"THIS IS MY STORE!"
"Are you the manager? Because-"
The manager shoves Water a bit.
"You...came to vandalize my store, huh?"
"What? No, I just wanted some-"
"NOT ON MY WATCH!"
"Sir, I'm getting tired of being interrupted. If you could please-"
"THIS IS MY STORE!"
Water's face grows red with anger.
"BUSINESS REPLY MAIL!"
He grabs the man and runs with him, and throws him over Dan's car and out the gaping hole. He grabs a giant chocolate bunny and stands on top of the car, screaming.
"THIS IS MY STORE NOW! FOR GOD AND MY STORE I DO MY DUTY!"
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