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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 9, 2007 14:31:08 GMT -5
{OOC: Here's a quick rundown of where the characters currently are:
Cargo Hold: - Big Bertha (unconscious) - Li Kung Pao (unconscious, mercifully) - NINJA - Mini Frias - Charon
Coach: - War Machine (unconscious) - Dan Francisco (fainted in War Machine's lap) - Burton (now has Betsy) - Starnes - Kaelan Anderson - Eucalyptus - Fromunda - Carl Svensson
First Class: - Bowdridge (Wedgied) - Shaunna - Water - Rob Wallace - Barry Knight
Am I forgetting anyone that's been introduced so far?}
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Post by RyanBow412 on Mar 9, 2007 14:39:08 GMT -5
Ryan fixes his wedgie and pulls his pants back on and walks towards the now in tears Wallace and Knight, shaking with anger.
"So, we've resorted to juvenile tactics of embarrassment?"
"Ohhhh, leuks lik Cryin' Ryan's uggit!"
"Yer gonna say sumfink or just stand there?"
Wallace and Knight continue laughing.
"I just have two words: table top!"
At once Water gets on all fours behind Wallace and Ryan pushes him, table topping him. They quickly do the same with Knight.
"Ha!"
Ryan and Water high five.
"Take that, ya Scottish bastard!"
Ryan grabs Knight and Water grabs Wallace and they throw them both into the coach section.
"That was awesome! I feel like a bully again!"
"Well, now that they're taken care of, I'm gonna go shave. I need to look good for all the Russian Press."
Ryan goes into the cargo hold to grab his hygiene bag to see Mini-Frias sticking his head out of one of the bags going through Shaunna's bag.
"Gah! What the hell are you doing?!"
"Panty raid, what do you think this is?"
"Oh, carry on then."
Ryan grabs his shaving cream and razor and goes into the bathroom. A few minutes later the Pilot comes over the intercom.
"This is the Pilot speaking, we are experiencing slight turbulence, fasten your seatbelts and it will be over in a minute."
There is a violent shake and Ryan's scream echoes throughout the whole plane.
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Post by RyanBow412 on Mar 9, 2007 15:00:43 GMT -5
Water returns to his seat as the woman next to him sits down. He orders a gin and tonic from one of the flight attendants. And then another, and then another. Eventually he's drunk and looking out the window. He turns back to the woman with a goofy smile. "There's. A.....gremlinonthewing. There. Is. A. gremlinonthewing. I'm telling you! It's a gremlin! He'll eat the engine like Bertha eats a 20 pound turkey dinner."A fight attendant comes to Water and taps him on the shoulder. "Sir, please lower your voice.""But it's a gremlin!""Okay, sir, calm down.""I can't be calm with a gremlin on the wing! I shan't!""Okay." She grabs a syringe and some sedative from behind her back and fills the syringe with the right dose as Water sings "OpblaasKrokodil" by Ome Henk. ((OOC: It would be better to hear this song so you can understand how drunk Water is. www.youtube.com/watch?v=raLyDZdAxIk))He gets to the second part of la's when she stabs him. He looks at the syringe now in his arm and then at the attendant. "Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."And then he's out like a light.
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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 9, 2007 15:37:54 GMT -5
Burton and Starnes return from their ordeal in the cargo hold and immediately move up to where Kaelan is sitting.
In a fit of rage, Burton swing Betsy up and brings her crashing down on Kaelan's exposed foot.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!"
Without skipping a beat, Starnes delivers a nasty looking roundhouse kick to Kaelan's head, knocking the co-tag team champion out cold.
"Take that you overgrown piece of..."
"SIR! You can't swing your sledgehammer in here!"
"I can't? Why not?"
Exasperated, the stewardess reloads her hypodermic needle and jams it in Burton's neck. Shocked at seeing this overwhelming display of hostility, Starnes backs away.
"Ok man, you win, I'm going back to my seat. No more talk of donuts or beer from me eh? So we're cool?"
"Yeah, we cool if you sit your keister down in your seat NOW and don't make a peep the rest of the way to Moscow. Capiche?"
"Capiche."
Starnes turns back and heads off to his seat while the stewardess looks down to the collapsed figure of Burton.
"I don't get paid enough for this job. GAH!"
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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 9, 2007 16:02:31 GMT -5
No longer able to contain himself after witnessing all of the chaos exploding around him, Bill Dallas gets up on his seat and starts dancing a happy beat.
"De Pain Train be here afta' a looooong absence, dig eyebally t'get waaay down! Right on!"
Alarmed at his fellow road agent's display, "Black" Jack Dunnigan attempts to pull Dallas back down to his seat.
"Get down Bill! That stewardess is crazy man!"
"Let go uh my arm befo'e ah' amputate it honkyfool! De Pain Train needs t'attend t'his sucka's! Right on!"
"Alright Bill, you win, go wreak your own special brand of justice."
"You damn straight sucka! WOO WOO!!!"
Now unimpeded by Dunnigan, "The Pain Train" walks down the aisle towards the stewardess, who is still carrying her hypodermic needle.
"Whut seems t'be da damn problem here sweet thang?"
The stewardess spins around almost supernaturally towards the new intruder with her needle at the ready.
"GET. BACK. IN. YOUR. SEAT. NOW!!!!"
"Calm yo'self fo' ya' wrek yo'self sweet thang. What it is, Mama! The Pain Train means ya' no harm baby! WOO WOO!!!"
Like a wounded animal, the stewardess let's herself be calmed by the soothing words of a master motivator, black belt karate champion AND one hell of a singer.
"Dat's right Mama, let da damn Pain Train help ya' put yo' mind at ease."
"I'd like that Pain Train."
"Any hot blooded woman would baby. Now, let's go put out some fires! WOO WOO!!!"
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Post by ryanrev on Mar 9, 2007 16:43:57 GMT -5
Scott sees that the flight attendant has been taken care of by Bill Dallas and gets out of his seat.
Damn am I the only one that notices Bill Dallas is just like Chef from South Park? This flight has been so bad I'm gonna have some fun by sneaking into first class.
Scott walks down the aisle and sneaks into first class but no one notices. In first class he sees Daniel Diamondeye, Dean Richards, and Richard Farnsworth III.
That lucky bastard Diamondeye! Hes having the time of his life well time for me to ruin it! Now what should my plan be? Wait I got it!
Scott notices the flight attendant has dropped her sedative and he picks it up with a big smile on his face. He sneaks behind Diamondeye's chair and pricks him in his arm but Diamondeye doesn't notice it. Soon hes out like a light and Scott commits the perfect crime by stealing his diamond encrusted wrist bands.
These will sell for a good buck in Russia once I get there!
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EELON
Full Member
Posts: 209
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Post by EELON on Mar 9, 2007 17:23:21 GMT -5
OOC: No no no! Diamondeye of course has his own private jet (Actually private jumbo jet ) he wouldn't be on this plane, and he isn't!
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Post by ryanrev on Mar 9, 2007 17:41:32 GMT -5
OOC: Rich bastard can't just settle for first class can he?
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Post by Juan Hefe on Mar 9, 2007 20:37:16 GMT -5
Barry Knight and Rob Wallace are heading back to their seats, dejected at getting one-upped by Ryan Bowdridge and Water.
"We lost fair and square Wallace, let's loaf of bread back to our seats and cop some rest before landin'."
"Bletherskite lad! We hae tae strick whan the airns het!"
Just then, Cletus, Cooter and Jebediah step out of their seats and stand in front of the two veterans.
"Whut in tarnation is yo' two talkin' about?!"
"Git oot o the wey fore A knap ye doun ye inbred hallion!"
"The Pain Train", fresh off his taming of the crazed stewardess (who's still hanging off his arm), makes his way over the middle aisle and steps in between the two groups.
"Whut de hell be happenin' here! De Pain Train duz not gots time fo' any mo'e fightin'!"
"You tell him Bill! Back to your seats all of you! GAH!"
"Nou bide a wee Dallas we hiv some troke tae take care o wi that Bowdridge laddie!"
"Yo' talk funny old man! Ah's a-gonna hit yo' in th' mouth! Fry mah hide!"
"The Pain Train" delivers a crushing spinning back fist to Cletus' face, sending the diminutive redneck back into his seat the hardway.
"Any otha fool wanna hit any otha fool in da mouth?"
"Ayuh."
Cooter unleashes a massive haymaker to Jebediah's jaw, sending the middle weight redneck crashing on top of the more diminutive redneck. Knight scratches his chin and shrugs his shoulders.
"Well, right, that were unexpected."
"Ye're telling us laddie. Lat's gae back tae are seats."
With Wallace and Knight heading back to their seats, "The Pain Train" puts an arm around Suzie's shoulders (Suzie is the stewardess).
"Happenin' Mama! Dere's some new sheriff in town and his dojigger be Bill Dallas."
"Oh Bill... You're so... manly! Wanna join the mile high club?"
"Duz a bear do his business in de woods Mama? WOO WOO!!!"
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