Tonight There's Gonna be a Jailbreak!

[Juan Hefe]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Legend:
"The Misfit" Rob Frias
Sad Boy
Charon
North Vegas Butcher
Albino Warrior
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Two Nights After VCW PUB CRAWL 2K9...

All is deathly quiet around the LVMPD precinct on Sunrise Avenue when a trio of hooded figures make their way across the street to a local diner. The figure in the lead turns to his two acolytes and removes his hood to reveal the painted visage of "The Misfit" Rob Frias!

"Now Sad Boy, are you absolutely positive that this is where Mini Frias was taken? Because if you are wrong, I shall find myriad ways to punish you."

Sad Boy shudders and lifts his shirt, showing the claw marks down his chest and abdomen.

"Go ahead and make my day Rob. You see these? Fab Dan made these! So hit me with your best shot Rob! Ungh!"

The third figure unleashes a big clothesline to the back of Sad Boy's head. Frias steps in and gives Sad Boy a few kicks to the ribs for good measure.

"Thank you for that Charon, the tense atmosphere of this night necessitated some blood letting and let Sad Boy be the first, for he is truly the most unworthy of our little group!"

Charon removes his hood and claps Frias on the shoulder.

"Aye, and this one should've been taken across the River Styx a forthnight ago for all that he has suffered at the hands of that abomination Francisco. T'isn't right Misfit! We should be the ones to punish him!"

Frias nods and nudges Sad Boy with his boot.

"Do you hear that you insolent whelp? We are the ones who shall punish you in the future! Do not find yourself victim to some other monster's machinations or you shall be dearly sorry. Pick him up Charon, I thirst for coffee and this fool slows us down."

Charon grabs Sad Boy by the wrist and starts dragging him on the pavement, much to The Misfit's amusement.

"Aha! I knew you had style Charon, but you truly outdo yourself this night!"

The Misfit is still chuckling as he sweeps open the doors to the diner and walks inside. He ignores the 'Please Wait to be Seated' sign and walks over to the nearest booth, which is currently occupied by two rather large men. The Misfit slams both fists on the table, spilling the coffee cups that were on it.

"Leave now! The Misfit has need of this table for it provides the best view to the precinct over yonder!"

One of the men calmly wipes his mouth and gets up. It's the North Vegas Butcher!

"You have any idea who I am freak?"

Frias spins and backfists NVB in the face. The impact of the blow sends the bigger man toppling over the seat of the booth and onto the floor.

"Do you have any idea who I am?"

Frias picks up NVB by the hair and sends him crashing to the floor again via a stupendously executed Braineater! The other booth occupant raises to his full height and kneels in front of Frias

"I know not who you are, but your prowess warms the deepest reaches of my black heart. What is thy bidding, my master?"

"Rise and name yourself, for you are in the presence of the Misfit."

The Albino Warrior gets up to his full height and matches The Misfit's intense stare.

"I am known far and wide as the Albino Warrior and I live to serve!"

Meanwhile, back at the diner's entrance, Sad Boy has managed to come back to his feet. When he sees the scene before him, he lets out a loud laugh.

"Geeze you two, get a room!"

Frias turns his inhuman gaze to Sad Boy and points at him.

"Destroy him."

Albino Warrior lets loose an animal like cry that cause a spreading stain to appear on Sad Boy's pants in the crotch area. With a speed that has to be seen to be believed, Albino Warrior rushes forward and slams Sad Boy in the gut with a spear that drives both men out of the door, held open by Charon. Frias claps his hands and walks out to follow the action.

"Excellent technique Warrior! Now halt before you damage the poor lad any further."

The Albino Warrior stops pounding Sad Boy with his fists and rises to his full height.

"Thy will be done, Misfit."

The Misfit explodes into action and headbutts Albino Warrior in the nose then delivers him to the merciful embrace of oblivion via DDT to the sidewalk. Done with his carnage, The Misfit spits on his writhing victim and wipes his hands.

"For future reference Warrior, I shall be referred to as The Misfit or Master. Failure to do so will bring you punishment. Are we clear?"

The Albino Warrior turns on his back and smiles, his mouth and nose bloody.

"Yes Master."

The Misfit reaches out a hand and helps up his newest acolyte.

"Charon, go in that diner and secure us food and beverage."

Charon bows and runs into the diner, leaving Frias alone with Albino Warrior.

"Do you see that Warrior? That level of devotion is what I shall demand of you tonight and most likely for the rest of your sorry life. Are you ready to pledge yourself?"

"Always Master!"

"Excellent, for tonight we break out my most loyal and ferocious servant."

"Who holds him captive?"

Frias points to the LVMPD precinct.

"They do, but they do not understand the folly of trying to contain him."

"And who might He be Master?"

"Me, in miniature. Enough talk! Let us gorge ourselves on coffee and pogos!"

[Juan Hefe]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Legend:
"The Misfit" Rob Frias
Charon
Albino Warrior
North Vegas Butcher
Sad Boy
War Machine
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Inside a Diner facing the Sunrise Avenue LVMPD Precinct...

"The Misfit" Rob Frias takes the last sip of his coffee and throws the mug against the far wall of the diner, shattering it in a hundred pieces over the scared waitresses head.

"We are ready for the bill here wench!"

The waitress nods and heads back to the kitchen quickly. Frias turns to Charon who is sitting opposite him at the booth.

"So we're clear Charon? You will be going in with Albino Warrior and providing the distraction."

Charon gets up from the table and grabs Albino Warrior by the arm.

"Thy will be done Misfit. Come Warrior, we have work to do!"

Albino Warrior rises from his seat and looks back at Frias.

"Quick question Master, when I omitted the 'The' in front of 'The Misfit' earlier, you nearly annihilated me. However, Charon escaped your wrath for the same offense just now. Am I to refer you to Misfit or..."

Albino Warrior goes down in a heap as Frias jumps up and elbows him in the side of the head. The face-painted menace then spits down on his victim.

"We are all different Warrior. We all abide by different rules. Your rules are clear. Do exactly as I say and you shall avoid punishment... at my hands anyway. Is that clear?"

Albino Warrior wipes his mouth and gets up to one knee.

"Crystal clear, Master."

Frias again helps his newest acolyte up.

"Excellent. Now, when you go into the precinct, Charon is your temporary lord and master. Do what he says explicitly."

"Yes Master."

Albino Warrior bows and moves to Charon's side just as the bearded mad-man known only as the North Vegas Butcher approaches the freak show table and kneels down. The violent man looks up tentatively at Frias, like a dog awaiting a beating.

"Uh... Misfit... you... you... and your... buddies... look like they could use some help. I'd gladly lend my fists to your cause."

The Misfit looks up to the tiled ceiling of the diner, almost as if praying to some unfathomably evil god. In a flash, he gets up from his seat and stands behind NVB who remains rooted in place.

"You may rise North Vegas Butcher." says Frias, smiling as he sees the Butcher gasp in surprise.

"Do not be shocked Butcher. I know of you and your reputation. By coincidence or providence, I have always appeared in locations shortly after you had laid waste to it. Your battle prowess impresses me and I look forward to add your special brand of mayhem to my cause. Tonight, you shall accompany Charon and Albino Warrior as they aide me in my mission to free Mini Frias from his confinement."

NVB gets up and stands beside Charon and the Albino Warrior.

"You won't regret this Misfit!"

The trio is about to depart when a table is upended behind them. The freaks all turn in time to see War Machine power-bomb Sad Boy through a desert display case.

"NEVER AGAIN SHALL YOU SPILL YOUR DRINK ON ONE WHO HAS WRESTLED WITH COMETS AND DESTROYED CIVILIZATIONS!"

"LET THIS POWER-BOMB BRING YOU UNIVERSAL ENLIGHTENMENT AS IT ALSO RENDERS YOU AND YOUR ANCESTORS DESTITUTE AND GRIEF STRICKEN!"

Frias nods to Charon and the ferryman of the dead springs into action, drilling War Machine with a flying head-butt.

"None may attack one of our own without Misfit's permission! Explain yourself or face oblivion!"

War Machine struggles in Charon's grasp, and is rewarded with four rapid fire head-butts for his troubles. Frias moves in and pulls Charon aside before any more damage can be done.

"Enough Charon! Leave this poor creature alone and tend to Sad Boy!"

Frias helps War Machine up to his feet.

"You should not have attacked Sad Boy in such a fashion War Machine. He is of My brood and thus is afforded My protection."

"THE DRINK HE SPILLED ON MY GARMENTS HAS SPED THEM FURTHER DOWN THE SLOPE OF ENTROPY!"

"RESTITUTION HAD TO BE MADE FOR THE PLANETS DID DEMAND IT!"

"Quiet yourself War Machine. I have a task for you to take your mind off Sad Boy's unfortunate spillage."

"SPEAK NOW FOR THE WAR MACHINE DOTH GEAR UP FOR MORE CATACLYSMIC CONFLICT!"

Frias points to Charon.

"Follow Charon into battle. Attack what he points you to and you shall reap the rewards of becoming one of Mine."

"THE MASKED ONE SHALL BE ABLE TO COUNT ON WAR MACHINE IN THE COMING TIMES OF TRIALS AND TRIBULATION!"

"LET US RUSH FORTH AND ENGAGE THE ENEMY!"

War Machine thumps his chest like a silver backed gorilla and goes to stand beside Charon. Frias walks over to his lieutenant and shakes his hand.

"The time is yours Charon, use it wisely and Mini Frias shall be ours again tonight!"

"I shall not fail you Misfit, even though you saddle me with... them."

"Ho ho ho! Your keen sense of humour is as always a most welcome respite from my dreary life Charon! Now go!"

The fearsome foursome burst out of the diner, with Charon in the lead, struggling to keep ahead of War Machine, North Vegas Butcher and Albino Warrior who are running at top speed toward the precinct. Frias laughs heartily as he watches his disciples run across the street.

"Poor Charon, I hope he does not resent me too much for what I am putting him through."

Sad Boy limps to The Misfit's side. His forehead is cut open and his hair and clothes are plastered with blood and lemon meringue pie.

"Honestly, it couldn't happen to a nicer group of guys. So what now Master?"

"Curb your sarcasm or I shall curb your spine Sad Boy. We are going to go pay our bill and walk over to the precinct."

"What's the plan anyway? Those four idiots are liable to get themselves arrested and then we'd have five of us in jail to break out."

"The plan is that we are going to go bail Mini Frias out."

"That's it? Why did you send those geniuses in there for then?"

The Misfit smiles sadistically.

"I just wanted to see how far I could push their loyalty. And it appears that I can push it to the very limit of human sanity."

[Juan Hefe]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Legend:
"The Misfit" Rob Frias
Charon
Sad Boy
Mini Frias
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Next Morning...

"The Misfit" Rob Frias sits on a skull covered throne in a dilapitated, dimly lit warehouse. In his hand is a ruby encrusted chalice, filled to the brim with a foul looking liquid. He swirls the contents of the cup and with a resigned sigh, gulps the foulness down.

"I do so hate Lemongrass! Charon! Approach me now for I have need of your wit!"

The fearsome figure of Charon emerges from the shadows with a familiar figure riding him piggyback style, Mini Frias!

"Yes Misfit?"

"I see that Mini Frias has not yet tired of you Charon! Come, sit by my feet and tell me of the adventures you had last night."

"Your new acolytes are as idiotic as they are destructive Misfit! I could barely keep up with them on the way to the precinct!"

"I know! Sad Boy and I shared many laughs as we saw you struggle to stay ahead of that mötley crew! What happened as you entered the precinct?"

"That's just it! We never made it to the precinct! That painted up fool War Machine kept running and attacked a nearby taxi cab!"

Frias slaps his knee and explodes in laughter.

"Oh ho ho! And what happened then?"

"Well, Albino Warrior joined in the fray and helped War Machine overturn the thankfully empty vehicle!"

Frias gets up to his feet and promptly falls down to his knees, still laughing hysterically. Charon and Mini Frias exchange a worried look.

"Are you well Misfit? Shall I continue my story?"

"The Misfit" wipes his eyes and claps Charon on the shoulder.

"Please continue! I have not laughed this heartily in years!"

"Well, with the cab overturned, the North Vegas Butcher got in on the action. First he picked up an empty newspaper box and then threw it against the cab. Unfortunately for War Machine, it rebounded and hit him squarely in the skull."

Mini Frias hops off Charon's back and crawls onto Frias's lap, falling promptly asleep. "The Misfit" looks down and smiles, stroking Mini Frias's head.

"Continue Charon, I am dying to hear where this story is headed."

"Well, that is where it gets complicated. As I went to help War Machine back up to his feet, Albino Warrior started laughing maniacally and he promptly attacked the Butcher. I let War Machine drop back down to the ground and rushed to intervene."

"Yes, and...?"

Charon shrugs.

"That is the end of my tale. Before I could reach Butcher and Warrior, I was struck from behind and woke up this morning in a dumpster. Mini Frias is the one who woke me."

"And where are the new recruits to My cause now?"

"Their whearabouts are unknown Misfit."

Frias rises suddenly, sending Mini Frias sprawling to the floor.

"Sad Boy! Bring me my cellular telephone!"

Sad Boy runs in from another corner of the warehouse, clutching a cell phone. He deftly avoids Mini Frias when the dwarf starts growling and lunges for his legs.

"Sheesh Misfit, did that thing get its shots?"

Frias snatches the phone from Sad Boy and promptly cuffs him on the ear with it.

"Mini Frias is an untamed beast that cannot be contained Sad Boy. In the future, I advise that you avoid him."

Sad Boy rubs his head and retreats from the throne as quickly as he can. Mini Frias growls for a moment and then takes off after him.

"Frias! Help!!!"

Charon and Frias burst out laughing.

"Well, that was entertaining! Now, I have a phone call to make Charon, please ensure that I am not disturbed."

Charon bows low.

"Of course. And if I may inquire, who will you be calling Misfit?"

"You may, Charon. I'm calling a certain Dylan Manulamanea, or D for short. He is a bail bondsman that I sometimes employ when I need to find someone quick. Or in this case, three someones, triple quick."