Post by Devlin on Mar 24, 2009 7:38:40 GMT -5
The scene opens to a blue-screened back drop, with Tyler Marx's graphic emblazoned across it, and some generic rock music playing in the background. The man himself walks onto the scene, with his customary grin and awesome goatee.
Ladies, gentlemen, and all those inbetween, welcome to the first episode of my groundbreaking new internet series, Smart Marx. And yes, before anyone asks, yes it is a pun on the term referring to a niche group of inbred internet wrestling fans, who think they could book TNA better than anyone Dixie Carter has on the payroll.
... And to be fair, they probably could.
Well, in this debut episode, I'm gonna be reviewing this past Sunday's pay-per-view, Double Down. So, without further ado, here goes.
- In the opening bout, Tyler Marx whooped a hole in the UFC reject, more commonly known as Scotty Long. You may be the "Wild Card", but in the words of Jake Roberts, "you wanna play 21, well I've got 22". I finished that loser with the best finishing move in the industry- The You're Screwed Driver- for my first (inevitable) PPV victory. Tyler Marx wishes Scotty Long all the best in his future endeavours.
- Sadly, Tyler Marx couldn't watch the Roman Brothers versus Crash City Rockers match, because Youtube took down the video. Huh.
- In a VCW Tag Team Championship match, the A Grade Tag Team defended the belts against the makeshift tag team of Dazza "The King" and Jimmy Richards. Seriously Dazza, what the hell are you thinking, teaming with this guy? First you were the King of VCW, making peasants bow before your feet- just like Australia bows to the Queen of England- and now you're jobbing to a World's Greatest Tag Team tribute- without the black guy. Who's the peasant now, "Your Majesty"?
- That crazy kid in the purple pants, AKA Jack Francis, successfully defended his Juniorweight belt against "The Loserweight" Jericho Black, dropping the poor son of a bitch on his head with a sweet reverse frankensteiner. Hopefully Jericho will be okay, because every fed needs its masked lunatic screw up to take a stiff bump every now and then. That's why Abyss still has a job in TNA.
- And in our main event, Ryan Bowdridge's gold lust continued, as he retained the VCW Hardcore and Heavyweight Championships, and defeated the winner of the Las Vegas Cup, Jason Shepard, for the Las Vegas Championship. Oh well, Shepard, looks like you'll have to get in line for next year. Sucks... to be you.
Well, that concludes the debut edition of Smart Marx; I'm your host- and the cult of personality himself- Tyler Marx, and no doubt you'll tune in next week. Who wouldn't?
The scene fades out, with Tyler Marx laughing hysterically.