Longshot (April 1, 2009)

[Vertigolowe]

April 1, 2009
Road to Fool's Gold - Week 2


Number One Contender
VCW Heavyweight Championship

[/color]
Efrem Ethel ~VS~ "The Tradition" Seamus Anderson

Number One Contender
VCW Hardcore Championship[/color]
Scrappy Joe ~VS~ Andy Montoya

Number One Contender
VCW Women's Championship
Sudden Death 4-way[/color]
Arrianna Lyra ~VS~ Brooke Sage ~VS~ Big Bertha ~VS~ Hennessy

Handicap Match[/color]
Tyler Marx ~VS~ Spectre & Toku

Michael Stern ~VS~ JLA "The Stooge"

Jimmy Richards & Dazza ~VS~ Tribe of Rage

"The Bruiserweight" Jericho Black ~VS~ "Wild Card" Scotty Long

Slaughterhouse ~VS~ "German Wonder" Kurt Engelhorn
[/center]

[Vertigolowe]

Longshot opens with Samantha Swift in her office.

"After the Crash City Rockers defeated the Grade A Tag Team last week, I have decided that at Fool's Gold both teams will meet again. This time both the VCW and Australian-American Tag Team Championships will be on the line."

She shifts in her chair and takes on a more serious voice.

"Last week Ryan Bowdridge viciously assaulted Jason Shepard after their match. Jason will be on the shelf for an undetermined amount of time.

"But Ryan, I still have plans for you. That's why at Fool's Gold on April 18, you will be defending all three of your titles in seperate matches. So you better train hard because you'll be defending against three of VCW's best and brightest.

[Master Red]

JLA and the rest of the Crash City Rockers are in the middle of the ring

JLA- I thank you for coming out tonight...And Tonight is a special night we have been told that we have a chance at a real[b/] championship

The Crowd Cheer

JLA- Tonight

The Crowd Cheers even louder

Anwar- We're calling you out. Me and JLA are going to be at the top of our game a Fools Gold but we can't wait we're going to beat you tonight.

The Crowd is Cheering even louder

Micheal Stern walks out of the Backstage area.

Stern- Put your money where your mouth is boys. I could beat you will one hand tied behind my back and wear a bindfold at the same time.

Anwar- That can be aranaged.

JLA- If you want it you've got it.

Stern-No you inbred retards, it's a figure of speech.

Samatha Swift walks up behind Micheal Stern.

Swift- Your not ruining tonights match and Fools Gold so tonight Micheal you said you could beat JLA with one hand behind your back. You will both have one hand tied behind your back.

Stern- Doesn't anyone get FIGURE OF SPEECH[b/].

The Crowd cheers louder.

[Roy]

Samantha Swift is sitting in her office working on some boring paper work

It's quickly interrupted when her office door bursts open and slams into the wall.

Scott Starnes walks in and stops at the end of Samantha's desk

There's an eerie silence between the two

I want him!

I want one more shot at him

He beat you

He got lucky, he beat me with a roll up. A ROLL UP!

He got desperate, caught me by surprise and scored a cowardly win over me. He took the easy way out.

I want him again at Fool's Gold

Well Scott I...

Give him to me Swift or I'll walk, I'll walk right now.

Then after I beat Vertigo I want a Heavyweight title shot

...and I want it in a contract

Samantha Swift sits back thinking

(TBC by V)

[Juan Hefe]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Legend:
Juan Hefe
"Filthy" Rich Burton
Barry Knight
Big Bertha
Ted Tsavales
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A tricked out Hyundai^TM Accent pulls into a parking spot in front of the VCW Arena a few hours before show time. Juan Hefe is sitting at the wheel and turns to look at the other two men in the car with him: "Filthy" Rich Burton and Barry Knight.

"So I've left a message with Swift's assistant in regards to Big Bertha's contract status. She should be getting back to me within the hour."

Burton shifts uncomfortably in the back seat.

"Listen Hefe, from what I can remember of our VCW contracts, they are pretty flexible. Even if Bertha still has one, we could always lie to her and..."

Hefe's cellphone rings and he answers it rapidly, almost fumbling the phone to the floor of the car in the process.

"Hefe here. Yeah. Ok. I see. Yeah, thanks for getting back to me so quickly Samantha."

After a long pause, Hefe clicks the 'End' button on the phone and then throws it down. Burton chuckles.

"Typical. Nice to see your luck in business matters hasn't changed Hefe."

Knight turns in his seat and reaches back to slap Burton in the back of the head.

"Shut it yer fat oaf!"

"Watch it you cockney bastard!"

Knight ignores Burton and turns towards Hefe

"Woss a matter guvnah? Barney Rubble on the bloomin' home front?"

"Where to begin? Not only is Bertha currently under contract, but she's fighting for a shot at the title on tonight's Longshot. Swift won't even entertain the idea of renewing it."

"So we friggin' lie to her you dumb bastard. We tell her that this match was the last one on her contract and you managed to get her an extension."

Hefe is about to reach back and give Burton a slap himself when a monster truck pulls into the spot beside them.

"Well, well, speak of the devil. Let me handle this."

Burton gets out of the car before Hefe can stop him and greets Big Bertha as she jumps down from the cab of her truck.

"Bertha! Glad to see you made it you big bag of... of..."

Bertha puts a hand on Burton's face and shoves him to the ground.

"You think I'm some sort of an idiot Burton?"

Hefe and Knight reach Burton's side and help him up off the ground.

"Berffa, yor voice! Blimey! It sounds 'uman! S'truth!"

"Oh geeze, another idiot in a kingdom full of idiots. OF COURSE I CAN SOUND HUMAN YOU WALKING BAG OF MARMITE!"

Hefe restrains an enraged Knight from rushing in to meet his death.

"Wait a second Bertha, we're just about to go in there and work out your contract extension."

"You don't know when to quit do you Hefe? I called Samantha and she gave me the entire sordid story. But you know what? It doesn't matter. I'm going to let you and your dumbass friends live another day on one condition."

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

Ted Tsavales steps out of the monster truck, and takes off his sunglasses(!).

"Hey guys, what did I miss?"

Bertha grabs Tsavales by the neck and brings him in for a crushing embrace in her bountiful bosoms.

"Teddy Bear accompanies me to the ring for everyone of my matches."

"Eeep!"

Burton lets loose a loud guffaw and claps his hands together.

"That's it? Hell, we were going to let you have your way with Ted every which way from Sunday anyways!"

Knight chuckles and starts walking towards the entrance to the VCW Arena.

"Come on lads, time's a weretin' and we 'ave some 'igh brow shenanigans ter pull on us new work mates! S'truth!"

[RyanBow412]

"3's & 7's" by Queens of the Stone Age begins and Ryan walks out to the ring with Shaunna by his side. He has all three of his VCW Championships on him. His Las Vegas and Hardcore titles on his shoulders and his Heavyweight on his waist. He slides into the ring and takes off all 3 belts and puts them in front of him in a line. He grabs a mic and the music cuts.

"I'd like to ask for a moment of silence please," he begins before getting booed furiously. "As we all mourn Jason Shepard's dignity and credibility, since he got his ass beat to hell last week and on Double Down."

He bows his head in mocking reverence as the crowd continues to boo. The crowd continues to heckle and jeer the Triple Crown Champion. He puts the mic to his face without looking up.

"Have you no respect for the dead? Give me some figgin' silence!"

His head continues to look downward for another few seconds before looking back up.

"Now that that's over, let's get to the real business tonight. Ms. Swift, you have men competing for number one contender for 2 of my 3 titles, the Heavyweight and Hardcore. If this is to intimidate me, let me tell you right now my dear, I am not afraid. You could throw all of VCW at me! Every last man, woman, and Bertha! I could take them all! I've proven that! I am the greatest competitor Las Vegas has ever seen! And all of these puny, pathetic and weak Las Vegas people know that! I am not afraid of Seamus Anderson, nor am I afraid of Efrem. Scrappy Joe and Andy Montoya are mere pebbles in my presence. So men, fight like it were your last battle, because no matter who wins, when they face me at Fool's Gold, they will all fall!"

He throws the mic down and it crackles and breaks. Queens of the Stone Age starts again as he leaves the ring with his belts and Shaunna.

[Roy]

It's dark and damp down in the basement of the VCW arena, all is silent but from the constant dripping of piped water.

Under a dim light against a cold wall sits Scrappy Joe is his trademark Leather jacket and ripped blue shorts. His head is down and his cold breath pipes out like smoke, he shivers but refuses to move to a more comfortable place.

It's cold, wet and dark down here but this place has a more welcoming feeling than up there in the VCW locker rooms. Up there it's full of ego's, jealousy and hate. No respect. I came here from the streets but came here with respect. I listened to all the wrestlers and didn't speak out against any of them. I was friendly and welcomed any advice I was given. I soon realized that you can't make it in this business by being nice. All you can do is hold onto the few people who are willing to help you out. That's what I did and they remain friends. Then I see guys like Ryan Bowdridge who shows no respect to anyone or anything, he is a coward who wants everything handed to him on a plate. Well I look at him now and he carries 3 Championships in his bag. He go them handed to him. I show nothing but respect and I sit here with no gold and little money where as he sits in his own locker room with a pretty gal by his side shining all his Gold.

Joe eventually lifts his head

Being stuck on the street is easier than staying here; at least on the street a guy will come up to you and tell you to your face that he's going to steal your money and will stab you in the stomach if you refuse. He is honest. Here a guy will come up and stab you in the back then steal everything you have as you lie bleeding to death. The difference is that little thing called respect. Even thieves and killers have some degree of it. That makes you, Ryan, worse than them.

Joe stands up lifting up a metal pipe as he does.

You've been getting a free ride too long Bowdridge and after I beat Montoya tonight I will put some respect into you and I will do it the good old fashioned way...

... by beating it into you!

Joe walks away for his match.

[Juan Hefe]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Legend:
Juan Hefe
"Filthy" Rich Burton
Barry Knight
Ted Tsavales
Billy
Jimmy Lee
Fabio
Adonis
North Vegas Butcher
War Machine
Sad Boy
Cooter
Cletus
Jebediah
Samantha Swift
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The catering area, backstage at the VCW Arena...

"Filthy" Rich Burton, Barry Knight and Juan Hefe are walking backstage, heading towards the catering area.

"So, do you boys feel at home back here in Vegas?"

"You know what Hefe? I haven't watched one second of footage from VCW since we left. I don't even know who's tag-team champion right now."

"I wonder wot 'appened ter Rainbow and 'is crazy pal Puddles. Them lads were Old Kent Roads of fun. S'truth!"

Before they reach the doors to the catering area, Ted Tsavales arrives from the other side, eating cotton candy.

"Hey fellas, did I miss anything?

"How'd you get away from Bertha Ted?"

"Never mind that, what the hell are you wearing?"

Tsavales looks down at his t-shirt and smiles proudly.

"This is a Limited Edition Ryan Bowdridge Triple Crown Champ t-shirt! And it's signed!"

"Rainbow's a champ?"

"Ryan Bowdridge is not only a champ, he's the best champ ever!"

"Wossat in yor uvver 'and behind yor back?"

"This?" Juan Hefe's most loyal employee shows off a bobble head doll of a mostly blue clad luchadore. "This is a limited edition Blue Demon Legacy Edition EHDP commemorative bobble head doll."

"Does 'Limited Edition' mean you had the privilege to pay more for it you thundering idiot?"

Hefe chuckles as he walks into the catering area, which is filled to capacity this close to the show. Seeing a line forming at the buffet, Burton wastes no time hurrying up to join it and in the process, bumps aside two similarly dressed wrestlers, Billy and Jimmy Lee, the Double Dragons!

"Oi! Shove off you fat piece of ****!

Burton does a double take and steps toe to toe with his challenger.

"Do you have any idea who I am you dumb bastard?"

Billy steps into Burton and gives him a two handed shove that sends him down to the floor.

"I don't give a flying **** who you are *******! I'm Billy of the Double Dragons and this is my turf!"

Burton stares in bewilderment at the upstart in front of him. Knight walks over to his team-mate and helps him up.

"Listen Rich, peraps startin' a fight on us right first day hammer and tack ain't the bloomin' brightest idea."

Jimmy Lee walks over to the duo and offers a hand.

"Gosh mister, I'm really sorry for my brother's behaviour. Is there anything I can...Ugh!!!"

Jimmy Lee's conciliatory speech is cut short by a vicious Burton low blow.

"You can take your brother's behaviour and shove it up your... Ouch!!"

Burton's speech is also cut short by a running drop kick from Billy that sends him crashing into Fabio and Adonis, the Love Gods of War!

"Ho ho ho! What's this Adonis, a rotund interloper? Shall I hold him in a frontal embrace while you pound him from behind?"

"Oh Fabio you dirty scoundrel! Of course you may. But only after I get my... Ack!"

True to the pattern that is quickly emerging, Adonis is knocked out of his boots by a Barry Knight Running British Uppercut that also takes out the North Vegas Butcher!

From the ground, a stunned North Vegas Butcher checks his forehead and sure enough, it is bleeding profusely.

"I don't know or care who started this, but someone's gonna die tonight!"

North Vegas Butcher gets up and inadvertantly bumps War Machine in the process! The painted up maniac starts thumping his chest and running around, shouldering aside multiple other wrestlers in the process.

"WAR MACHINE HAS COME FROM THE VERY CONFINES OF THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM TO EAT HERE TODAY!"

"WAR MACHINE WILL NOT BE DENIED THE OPPORTUNITY TO DINE ALONGSIDE HIS FELLOW GODS!"

"WAR MACHINE ... Ow, that hurted, down I go..."

War Machine goes down in a crumpled heap. Behind him, Sad Boy stands awkwardly, holding a dented metal chair.

"War Machine needs to shut up, my head hurts and everyone hates me. My girlfriend hates me. My parents hate...Eep!"

Sad Boy goes flying head over heels, thrown over the crowd by an enraged Cooter of the Backwater Boyz!

"Cooteh hates you too Sad Boy! Doihh!"

The runt of the Backwater Boyz litter, Cletus, dances triumphantly around his brother (or cousin?) and runs over to the crumpled form of Sad Boy, taunting him.

"Thet'll learn ya' t'mess wif th' Backwater Boyz ya' idjot!"

Cletus's joyful dance does not last long however, as he is taking down from a lariat to the back of the head. Delivered by none other than Jebediah!

"Shet yer mouth an' knows yer role Cletus!"

Before any more chaos can ensue, the emergency lights in the catering area go out, and when they come back on Samantha Swift is standing at the doorway, along with a dozen VCW Security Personel.

"Everybody stand down or there will be hell to pay!"

The stressed out owner of the VCW walks over to Hefe, who is cowering behind Ted Tsavales.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Juan Hefe. You certainly don't wait to make your presence felt do you?"

Hefe walks out from behind his bodyguard and straightens out his glasses.

"Listen Samantha, this was just a massive misunderstanding! Honest!"

Samantha Swift surveys the damage and glances back to one of her security personel.

"Did we get this on tape? If so, this'll make a great opening for the show tonight. Hefe, you and your boys follow me. We have some things to discuss."

Back in the pile of downed bodies, "Filthy" Rich Burton shoves aside Sad Boy's unconscious body and joins Hefe at the door.

"Honestly Rich, dealing with you is like dealing with an out of control toddler."

Burton gives an apologetic shrug.

"Hey, Don't Taze Me Bro, I was just trying to get some eats before tonight's show."

"I 'ope yor still 'ungry yer fat oaf, right, because I'm bloody well about ter feed yer a knuckle sandwich."

[Devlin]

The camera fades into the scene that Juan Hefe and his gang just left, the sound of pained groans emanating from the decimated heap of "Enhancement Talent". Tyler Marx walks onto the scene, with an eyebrow raised at the strange scene, making no attempt to avoid stepping on the wrestlers and causing them to groan further.

"Man, what the hell happened here, Sad Sack?" Marx asks Sad Boy, who is trying to prop himself up on a dented steel chair. Marx kicks it away from underneath him, and with a wimper, Sad Boy falls back down, face first into the chair. "Oh. Fine. Don't answer." Marx beginning laughing his trademark manic laugh, and then turns his attentions to the camera.

"Toku, haha, you dare to challenge Tyler Marx to a handicap match against you and your boyfriend because he couldn't get the job done on his own? Well I'm telling you now, you inflated bonzai midget, your involvement isn't gonna make a damn difference to the result.

Y'know what the difference between me and you is, Toku? Aside from over a foot, the difference... is that Tyler Marx is good- and you? Ha, just like the rest of your life, along with Spectre, you're gonna come up short.

Get ready boys, because YOU'RE SCREWED!"

Marx swaggers off, laughing loudly and stepping on War Machine in the process.

[Roy]

Hefe and his gang are led through the corridors by Samantha Swift and her security guards

OH MY GOOOOOOOOD!!!

everybody stops

IT CAN'T BE! SLEDGEHAMMER JUSTICE ARE BACK!!!

running round the corridor like a little excited girl is "Fabulous" Dan Francisco

Dan runs with his arms out

I've missed you guys soooooooooo much. Give me a hug darlings!

Barry Knight and Rich Burton just look on dumbfounded

Dan runs up to them by quickly gets grabbed by all the security, they drag him away from Sledgehammer Justice

OH! c'mon sweeties I just want to see my old chums. Here BOYS come and spend a night with Dan I'll tell you everything that's been happening here. It'll just be us. A 3 So...

The security drag Dan around a corner away from everybody

Hefe looks at Swift

After all the changes here you couldn't get rid of that guy?

Swift just shrugs and walks on.

[Juan Hefe]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Legend:
Juan Hefe
"Filthy" Rich Burton
Barry Knight
Ted Tsavales
Samantha Swift
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Outside Samantha Swift's Office...

Samantha Swift stops short of her door and motions for Juan Hefe to come forward.

"Are you acting in a management capacity for these two buffoons Hefe?" Swift says, motionning to Burton and Knight.

"Sadly, yes."

"Then they really don't need to hang around while we hammer out the details of their return do they? Good, didn't think so." She turns to Sledgehammer Justice. "You two are free to roam the backstage under one condition. If I hear word of you wreaking havoc once again like you've already done tonight, you're through in VCW. Is that clear?"

Burton and Knight both nod a little too enthusiastically. Ted Tsavales puts up his hand.

"Yes Ted?"

"Can I go with Rich and Barry too? I promise I'll be good!"

"Oh for the love of Pete, go ahead you big baby."

Tsavales does a little jig and starts walking down the hall, followed closely by Burton and Knight

"Hey Teddy Bear, wait up!"

When the three have gone around the corner, Samantha opens the door to her office and Hefe follows her in.

[Juan Hefe]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Legend:
"Filthy" Rich Burton
Barry Knight
Ted Tsavales
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Backstage at the VCW Arena, near the main locker room...

"So wot exactly are yer plannin' Rich?"

"Any of you guys got a piece of paper and a pen? Swift told us we couldn't wreak havoc here in the Arena but she didn't say anything about Las Vegas itself."

Ted Tsavales pulls out a sharpie and legal size paper pad from his black fanny pack. Burton stares at him in amazement.

"Sheesh Teddy Bear, is that some sort of bottomless bag or something?"

Tsavales hands Burton the pad and pen and chuckles.

"This isn't Hogwart's and I'm no Harry Potter Rich."

"Yer wahn strange geezer Ted Tsavales. S'truth."

Burton begins writing on the pad in large letters:

WHAT: VCW PUB CRAWL 2K9 (HOSTED BY SLEDGEHAMMER JUSTICE)

WHERE and WHEN: RIGHT AFTER LONGSHOT

10PM - 11PM PT's Pub (Rainbow Blvd)

11PM - 12AM Kerry's Sports Pub (Rancho Dr)

12AM - 1AM Tilted Kilt (Flamingo Rd)

1AM - 2AM Shadow Bar (Las Vegas Blvd)

2AM - 3AM Gordon Biersch Brewing Co (Paradise Rd)

3AM - 4AM Crown & Anchor Pub (just off UNLV Campus)

WHO:
1. "Filthy" Rich Burton________
2. Barry Knight________________
3. "Teddy Bear" Tsavales_______
4. Teddy's Lady Love Big Bertha
5.Dan Francisco______________
6. ____________________________
7. ____________________________
8. ____________________________
9. ____________________________
10. ___________________________
11. ___________________________
12. ___________________________
13. ___________________________
14. ___________________________
15. ___________________________

HOW: RENTED BUS IN FRONT OF THE ARENA AFTER THE SHOW

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE, WE DON'T REALLY CARE

Burton admires his handywork and posts it up on the bulletin board near the main locker room.

"There, that should get some attention!"

"So 'oo's rentin' the bus Rich?"

"Teddy Bear here is going to be point man on this little adventure. You ready for the responsibility Ted?"

"You know my price Rich. 5 pounds even of Jelly Bellies^TM, no Liquorice, no Peanut Butter, no Marmite."

Burton claps his hands together and enters the main locker room, facing everyone that's there.

"Fellas! If I could have your attention please! We are Sledgehammer Justice and we have come to Party! Pub Crawl tonight after the show, eleven spots left! All the information's out on the bulletin board."

The wrestlers in the room look up disinterestedly at the newcomers, none of them being there when Sledgehammer Justice first ran roughshod through VCW.

"Tough crowd. Could any fairy point us ter Rainbow and Puddles locker room?"

[Devlin]

"Hey guys, count me in- Tyler Marx is just gonna go and whoop a couple jobbers and then he'll be right with you."

With that, Marx finishes taping his hands and then heads out toward the ring for his match.

[Roy]

Sledgehammer Justice continue looking around for more drinking buddies

They turn a corner to see two of Samantha Swifts security guards laid out on the floor

Wot da Hell?

Sledgehammer Justice and Ted stop in their tracks

A voice from behind scares SHJ and Ted

They barely lasted two minutes with big Dan baby!

AWW! S%!T!

Fab Dan puts his hands round SHJ and thrusts his penis aganst Ted who is standing in the middle

Right Darlings what are we fine Gentlemen doing tonight? Hey what's that list?

Eh! it's nothing

Dan grabs the piece of paper

HUUUUUH! A BAR CRAWL!

Dan throws his hands in the air

PAAAAARTAY!!!

He takes the pen from Ted and rights his name

COCKtails all round boooys let's go

[Juan Hefe]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Legend:
"Filthy" Rich Burton
Barry Knight
Ted Tsavales
"Fabulous" Dan Francisco
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tsavales swipes the pen and paper out of Fab Dan's hand and gives him a reproachful stare.

"Listen mister Francisco, we are not leaving the arena until after the show. I haven't even booked the tour bus yet!"

Burton punches Tsavales in the arm.

"Well what the hell are you waiting for? Go book that bad mother..."

"Shut your mouth dahhhhhhling! Oooooh I'm going to looooooooooooooove having you delicious boys in Vegas again. Daddy was getting vewy wonely without his two special boys!"

Tsavales recoils from Francisco and sprints off, presumably to book the tour bus. Knight watches him go and then turns back to Francisco.

"Listen Dan, right, could yer take us ter Rainbow and Puddle's dressin' room? We 'aven't seen the bloody lads in quite a wile and it's time ter cotch up."

"Fabulous" Dan Francisco makes a distasteful face and manages to pat Knight on the bottom before the Englishman swipes his hand away.

"Whyever would you want to associate with those dreadful fellows dahhhhhling? Let's just forget about them and go back to my room and party until showtime!"

"As much as I'd love to rebuke your advances all night Dan, we've got some work to do and some people to see. You go try and introduce yourself to Hefe. He's as gay as the day long!"

"Say no more dahhhling! Fab Dan is on his way to make a new man's heart sway!"

Barry Knight can only shake his head as he watches "Fabulous" Dan Francisco sashay his way down the hall.

"Cor Blimey Rich. Poor 'efe is already gonna 'ave 'is 'ands full wiv this new gig and yer just went and gave 'im a 'oole new set of 'eadaches!"

"Ain't I grand? Now, let's go find Rainbow and Puddles. Hey, we should find Josh Brodey too, see if he'd let us do some guest commentary tonight! That guy was always good for a laugh."